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There was a toxic rat,
Who loved to slurp up fat,
He burped up a gopher,
That smelled of sulfur,
And also threw up a cat!
There once was a dragon named Dey-Do
Who ate nothing but old dried out Play-Do
When he met an old man
With his head in a pan
He thought he had met a potato.
Once in the rain I saw a man,
Strolling with an umbrella in hand.
When I said it was insane
To walk in the rain,
He said " Well then, I'll just stand".
There was a young man named Madill
Who rode an alligator for a thrill.
When they came back from the ride
Madill cried and cried.
All this time, his handycam battery was nil.

There once was a man named Jim,
Who was so exceedingly slim,
That when he turned sideways
(Even without any hideaways)
You could see no sign of him !

Once there was a teacher
Who really liked the bleacher
So she stayed day and night
Holding it tight:
Her truly beloved bleacher
There was a young man from Peru.
Who wanted to live in a shoe.
A size six was too small.
So he walked down the mall,
And found a size twelve with a view.
There once was a boy named Lee,
Who always threw rocks at a tree.
One day when it shivered,
Lee shaked and quivered
When out shot hundreds of bees!
There once was a cowboy named Boone,
Who always hung out in a saloon,
He sat on a thistle,
And boy, did he whistle,
And he sat, picking them out by the moon.
A young piggy-patriot named Pearl
was arrested for straightening her curl.
The pigs did contend,
her tail she'd pretend,
was a glorious flag to unfurl.
There once was a Kangaroo
Who lived in a large zoo
He had a big pouch
when he fell he said ouch
That was pretty stupid too
There once was a lad named McGuire
who became an accomplished old liar
then one day
he ran away
when he came back he's on fire
There once was a man named Juan
who everyone noticed was gone
they look all around
he was nowhere to be found
then they saw him come out from the john
There once was an old guy from Ruit
who wouldn't eat nothin' but fruit
he danced with the dog
had tea with a hog
which made most the people eat soup
There once was a demon named Bob
Who was contented to plunder and rob
He shot out lost souls
Through tiny nose holes
For that was his long-lasting job.
There once was a little creature,
Who had an unusual feature.
He flew here from Mars,
To raid all the bars,
Then he got spanked by his teacher.
There once was a guy named Dirk,
Who had a friend named Kirk.
They went up a hill,
Found a dollar bill,
And got coffee at Central Perk.

I know a Prince named Will,
Who's mother has been killed.
Oh, he loved her so,
And with tears he showed,
How truly her love was real.
There once was a guy named Kyle,
Who always loved to smile.
He went to the fair,
Tripped over a bear,
Now there's a lawsuit file.

There once was a poet named Chuck,
who couldn't even rhyme the word duck.
Despite all his crying,
and hours of trying,
He threw up his arms and yelled chucks!

There once was a man from mars
who had a knack for selling used cars
he said take this one
and you'll have lots of fun
except for the trunk full of tar

It's hard to suppress Iron Mike's
Obsession to bite what he likes
So if he's seen nuthin' grander
Than the ears of Evander
Then Mike bites if he likes? Yikes!
To a far away planet named Mars
The navy sent six jolly tars
And an Admiral
too as part of the crew
To serve up the grog at the bars.
On an African safari a man named Tunney
Asked his wife, "How do we avoid cannibals, honey ?"
Said she, "When we're near their towns",
"We'll all dress as clowns",
"Then they won't eat us because we might taste funny".

There once was a family named Stein
There was Gert, there was Ep, there was Ein.
Gert's poems are bunk
Ep's statues are junk
And no one can understand Ein.

There once was a fisherman named Fisher,
Who was fishing for fish in a fissure.
When a cod with a grin
pulled the fisherman in,
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.
There once was a girl from the sticks
Who liked to write limericks.
But she failed at the sport,
'Cause she wrote them too short.
There once was a boater named Sam,
who when he was stuck in a jam,
jumped from his boat,
yet stayed afloat,
till he went right over the dam.
There once was a boy from Quebec
Who bought a new stereo deck
He played it quite loud
In front of a crowd
And now his new deck is a wreck
There once was a man named Ken
who came walking 'round the bend
he stepped on a tack
and said yakety-yack
then he had to pass wind.

There once was a man who liked to bet
He even did it on the net
Then one bad day
The money went away
Now he's drowning in debt

There was a guy named Jose
Who was nicknamed "no way".
He attended The Learning Academy;
His ambition was astronautics, not anatomy!
So now his nickname is "no weigh".
There once was a woman from Clyde
who fell into an outhouse and died.
The next day her brother
fell into the other
and now they're in turd side by side.
There was a farmer from Leeds,
Who ate six packets of seeds,
It soon came to pass ,
He was covered with grass,
And he couldn't sit down for the weeds
There once was a man named Crocket
Who put his foot in a socket
When along came a witch,
Who turned on the switch,
And sent Crocket up like a rocket.

There once was a cute little bunny,
Who I thought was sweet and funny.
He ate all the carrots,
And looked at the parrots,
And that was my cute little bunny.
There one was a man from Peru,
Who dreamed of eating his shoe,
he awoke with a fright,
in the middle of the night,
and found that his dream had come true!
There once was a man from France.
Who lived in a nest with ants.
He thought that he might
Stay up all night
And play with the ants and dance

There once was a man from France
Who liked to dance and dance
He thought he might
Give friends a delight
And dance with his dog Chance

There once was a frog from a city
Who jumped on a really cute kitty
He thought he might
Get thrown out at night
And walk on home feeling pity.
There once was a butterfly from France.
Who flew up and did a dance.
She thought that she might
crash into a kite
And never do another dance.

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